Perfectly Abnormal
by InsanityInside
Summary: Dudley Dursley is perfectly normal. Luna Lovegood is not. Dudley hates anything abnormal. Luna finds normal a little boring. What happens when they meet? Oneshot. Warning: contains a weird pairing.


_Just felt like writing something really strange :) Oh, and I **am** working on _A small change_, but I'm also preparing for some exams and doing lots of things at the same time, so it might take a while._

_II(:_

_Disclaimer: Not mine (I think I've ran out of original disclaimers :P )_

**Perfectly Abnormal**

'Yo, Big D!' Piers Polkiss said cheerfully as Dudley entered his house 'What took you so long?'

'Mum's getting suspicious, you know?' Dudley replied 'She actually made me promise I wouldn't drink too much and all that stuff.'

He picked up a can of beer from a nearby table and they both laughed.

'No, really, Piers, it's not funny,' Dudley said after taking a few sips 'She really did. And that I wouldn't get into fights too… Remember when she caught us beating up Mark Evans?' he asked.

'Yeah…' Piers said 'Don't tell me she she punished you for that!'

''Course she didn't,' Dudley said 'But it took me nearly an hour to make her believe Evans starterd it!'

'An hour!' their friend, Gordon joined in the conversation 'Reall, Big D, you gotta watch out for her! Next time she _might_ actually _do something_!'

'She'll lock you in your room!' Piers joked.

'Right,' Dudley laughed 'Or maybe in the cupboard under the stairs?'

The boys laughed. They found the fact that Dudley's cousin Harry had spent most of his childhood in that cupboard very funny.

'And she _really_ didn't believe you when you said Mark Evans had attacked you?' Piers asked, still howling with laughter.

'Because he didn't, did he?' asked a girl's voice. Dudley turned around and saw her. She wasn't exactly the kind of girl he usually thought of as 'hot', but there was something about her that attracted his attention. She had long dirty-blonde hair and large, silvery-gray eyes. For a moment Dudley thought she looked like a fairy, and actually _meant it in a good way_. Not that he would say it aloud in front of his friends, of course!

'Who are you?' he asked.

'Oh, don't bother with her, Big D!' Piers said 'She's just a friend of my sister's. Mum and Dad insisted that I let her invite her friends to the party too.'

'_Her friends_?' Dudley was a little surprised. Piers's younger sister was nearly as annoyingly weird as Harry! 'Where did _she_ find friends?'

'At her shool, I think,' Piers answered.

'What?' Gordon said 'Is that some hind of special school for freaks like her? Hey, Dudley, maybe you should send Harry there too?'

Dudley laughed. He couldn't let them find out that Harry did actually go to a rather unusual school. But Piers's sister was _not_ a… well, actually she _was_ a freak, but not _that kind_ of freak! Please, don't let her be! And her friend! The silver-eyed girl did seem very… different, but there was quite a difference between looking like a fairy and being a witch!

XXX

'And then he said he loved me,' said the dreamy voice 'It felt strange…'

Dudley listened carefully, his eyes still closed, so as not to let the girl know he was awake.

'But it was actually quite nice,' she continued.

Dudley thought about the events of the previous evening. Now he knew that the girl's name was Luna, which seemed to fit her perfectly for some reason he didn't quite understand. He would have to find out if the name means anything. She wasn't a _freak_, of course. How could anyone so wonderful be a _freak_? Many people seemed to think she was weird, but he knew she just had a lot of imagination. Dudley didn't know many people who had so much imagination. It felt almost magical. And he meant it in a good way. And now he knew she had enjoyed the evening just as much as he had. That was great.

XXX

One evening a few weeks later Dudley was enjoying another magical moment. Yes, enjoying it. All the magical moments in his life before he met Luna had involved things like a scary giant giving him a pig's tail, Harry turning Aunt Marge into a balloon, a bunch of weird redheads blowing up the fireplace, invisible _things_ trying to suck out his soul, or at least a flying glass hitting him repeatedly on the head. But the ones with _her_ were good.

That evening they were walking in the forest together. Dudley looked up at the sky.

'The moon…' he said 'It kind of reminds me of you…'

Luna looked at it too.

'It's full,' she noticed 'We'd better be careful.'

'Why?' Dudley asked, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. Thie was the one thing about Luna that annoyed him sometimes. She liked to talk about so many strange things you could almost think she lived in some strange, magical world of her own (If only he could tell her that there actually _was_ a magical world out there somwhere, and he was trying very desperately to stay away from it!). This time she muttered something about werewolves.

'But then, the ones you _really _have to watch out for can even attack you when they are human,' she said 'It happened to my friend's brother, you know?'

'What?' Dudley asked in shock.

Luna looked a little embarassed.

'Never mind,' she said.

'But we can go to my house,' Dudley suggested 'The werewolves can't get us there,' he said, hoping it sounded like a joke, and then added 'And neither can the aliens,' just to make sure.

'What a wonderful idea!' she said with a small laugh.

A few minutes later, as they reached number four, Privet Drive, something howled in the distance, but it didn't bother them much.

XXX

If he wasn't currently in wolf form, Fenrir Greyback would have laughed evilly. He was near a Muggle town. He found attacking people who didn't even _believe_ in him very amusing.

XXX

Somewhere very far away a girl known to you as InsanityInside also would have laughed evilly if she wasn't currently sitting in class…

XXX

'Hello, Mum,' Dudley greeted his mother when he and Luna were already inside the house 'This is Luna,' he introduced the girl 'I've told you about her.'

Mrs Dursley was mildly surprised. Apparently she had imagined her differently.

'Why, Dudders,' she said, although Dudley was not sure she really meant it 'How nice of you to bring her here! Your Daddy and I have been really looking forward to meeting her. Hello, Luna.'

'Hello, Mrs Dursley,' Luna said politely.

Just then Harry walked down the stairs. And he stared. And Luna stared back. This was quite a shock to Dudley, as he had never seen her shocked by anything. Until now.

'Harry!' the girl nearly shouted 'What are you doing here?'

'Luna! What are _you_ doing here?' Harry said at the same time. It was the Dursleys' turn to stare.

'I am a friend of Harry's from school,' Luna said, as if it was a perfectly normal thing. In fact, it was perfectly _ab_normal.

'You're one of _them_?' Dudley screamed in shock 'You're like _him_?'

'I don't think anyone is like anyone else,' Luna said calmly 'but, yes, I am a witch, if that's what you mean.'

A witch. Luna. This was just so _wrong_! But, Dudley suddenly realised, it did make sense. A terrible, abnormal sense!

As soon as he realised Luna was a witch, the magic he had seen in her was gone. This was not normal either. Nothing he could do right now would have been normal.

'Mum… I didn't know,' he muttered in panic 'I didn't know what she was!'

He turned to Luna. Only a few minutes ago he had loved that girl. Now he hated her.

'You lied to me!' he accused her 'You never told me!'

'You never asked me,' she replied calmly.

'_Asked you?_' Dudley yelled 'And how the hell was I supposed to know I should ask? Not everybody is a freak like you, you know!'

'Some people have more imagination than you,' she replied and walked out of the door. _Good_, Dudley thought. He never wanted to see her again.

XXX

Later that night he was alone in his room, thinking. Now that he thought about it, Luna _was_ a strange girl and she would have still been strange even if she wasn't a witch. Hell, she was probably even weird by _magical_ standards, even though Dudley had always found that hard to imagine. But only a few hours ago she had not been _weird_! She had been _one of a kind_, _not like all those other girls_, _special_!

Dudley suddenly realised what he had just thought. _Weird_ and _special_… _abnormal_ and _one of a kind_. Didn't all those words mean more or less the same?

So he and Luna were too different. A relationship between them couldn't have lasted long. It had been just too strange for the _perfectly normal boy _he was. But even now that it was over, he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed it. Maybe not everything unusual had to be bad?

_Damn you, Luna Lovegood_, he thought…


End file.
